Warm Heat

Just checked my blog followers from Google. The number surprised me 16 :) It's little bit funny because now I live in 116 room LOL. I'm not supposed to post something here because I have my mid test by Monday. I can't sleep, and I'm a little bit unhealthy lately coughing sneezing and freezing. Jogja wheater becoming my enemy this October, I must put my jacket on. In this freezshing (freezing-sneezing night) I take a tour to flickr and look what I found!!

It's beautiful right? I'm head over heels when I see this picture and become more in love when I knew the photographer are female. I don't know why but I love it when a female become a photographer. And the surprise didn't stop at the gender but the photographer Ann He is only 15 years old. What a talented young girl! Another surprise is she's using an analogue film! My night is turn warmer when I found all of this fact <3>

I'll be there

Can't remember when I last saw you laughing

If this world makes you crazy
You've taken all you can bear
You call me up (Call me up! )
Because you know I'll be there (Know I'll be there)

True Colors -Glee Cast

Teruntuk sahabatku, aku tidak tahu sejak kapan kau mulai berkeluh kesah tentang hidupmu. Kau memulainya dengan obrolan kecil. Aku setia mendengarnya, dan akan selalu begitu. Namun kali ini mendengarnya terasa begitu berat. Aku tidak tahu apa yang harus aku katakan, kata semangat tidaklah cukup. Aku tahu kau membutuhkan lebih dari sekedar semangat. Sahabatku sayang aku tahu kau selalu berusaha untuk keluar dari masalah ini, aku juga berdoa untukmu. Aku harap kau tidak lagi mengucapkan kata-kata itu, mereka sayang dirimu. Begitu juga diriku. Mungkin mereka butuh waktu untuk mengerti dirimu. Yang sabar ya sayang, kamu pasti ngelewatin ini semua. I love you.

This is not a good day to start the day!

Collage start tomorrow! Bloody Hell! There are a bunch of assignment that I even touch it yet :( I don't know where to begin. I arrived at jogja 7.oo am but I'm so sleepy to start cleaning up the mess I left before I got home, so I sleep! A REALLY GOOD SLEEP! (Read: No Texting, No Call) HEAVEN! But then I realize! There's no an annoying noises comes from my brother and sister, and I'm not sleeping in the bed I sleep yesterday :( My mind got a big distraction! I fell like screaming and crying, I want stay at home! Not in this town starring at my book and laptop all day long!! Get me Get me Get me outta of here~

PS: Well this is one kind of the distraction-> listening to the BFL while surfing on the internet! I supposed to start making my assignments! I get off of here!

I want this as my birthday cake

So whose good at baking? I'll appreciate when you want to help me to make this kind of "superepicrainbowcake" I'll give you the recipe.

Counting down the days before 17 sept 2010. I will not tell ya what's on 17 sept. That's secret! The question is where will I through that 17th day of sept? Jogja or Bali? Will think about it, or maybe it depends on my lecturer. Hope everything will be allright, all I want is just a lot of laugh and happiness.

Pre-Fall 2010 CottonInk Collection

"We are in the mood for romance this season. A black and white affair. With hints of ambrosia for the side"

COTTON INK presents a prelude the Fall Winter Season in this Pre Fall 2010 Collection. The designers are thinking about a woman in her circumstances - about her need and desire. sometimes a woman want to have fun, while some other times she need to be serious. Each piece of this collection is versatile - to fulfill her need and desire. Inspired by that, this collection marries the fragility and power - in more constructed garments in shirting material. Still, the signature convertible pieces, along with jersey pieces remains. And all wrapped up in simplicity.

Bunda, Ibu, Mommy, Mom, (Mutter)

Tak pernah setengah hati

ku mencintaimu

ku memiliki dirimu

setulus-tulusnya jiwa, ku serahkan semua

hanya utukmu.

tak pernah aku niati

untuk melukaimu,

atau meninggalkan dirimu

sesalku selalu bila tak sengaja

aku buat kau menangis

memiliki mencintai dirimu, kasihku

tak akan pernah membuat diriku menyesal

sungguh matiku,

hidupku kan selalu membutuhkan kamu.

memiliki

mencintai

dirimu...

ibu

takkan pernah

membuat diriku menyesal

sungguh matiku hidupku kan selalu ku butuh kamu

tompi - tak pernah setengah hati

Mutter... aku minta maaf

Mutter...

I miss you

Did you get what I said? It's called a talk, god.

Reality. Hopes. Disappointment
When reality bites

Faith is not the belief that God will do what you want. It is the belief that God will do what is right. -Max Lucado

I'll take it everything, and what the hell ever is. I'm not gonna give up, because somehow I believe you're testing me right now. You want me to stand up the fight and never give up, even just to thinking about it. Honestly, I feels like living in hell right now. But I'm gonna get the hell outta off ofhere, sure I do! One thing I need to you is make it fast, so I can't feel the time ticking. Thankie.

You're my father, you're my mother. I'm yours technically, but I do mine too.
You're my sister, and you're my brother. You're there when I needed to, never leave me alone.
You're my friend, You're my lover. You catch my back, I catch you're back.
You're my enemy, you're the haters. Never fails to make strong and never want to loose the game.
You're stranger, so do I to you.
You're my lord, I'm totally yours.
Body and Soul.

Every creature have their own part in this world. Mind yours, don't waste your breath talking about someone, don't waste your energy thinking about nothing. You're here for yourself, you're here because your lord. Someone with shine always can makes you blinded. Don't asking why, it's human nature. They're always shining, with their own colour. I'm talk to you, yes you. Somehow I'm not proud of you because you're not the best. Because until now you can't controlled you're fucking mind. This is a talk. Go on talking, please listen to me. Another Thanks.

Sir, please don't let the devil or neither the satan taking over your place and talk to me.
They already taking over me right now, oh well am I the devil.
And I need to talk to you sir.




I need a private talk.


would you, leave me for a second?







well, thanks devil.

Hiatus!

I'll take a hiatus, from now on.
I have to face my semester final exam.
I needed the best best best and lotta of luck!!
Geezzz wish me luck y'all!!
I'm so fucking nervous!!

Please bless me, please?




Thank you

It's not summer yet

I'm ready to hit the beach, swimming pool, or whatever it is.

In, 1..2...days

God Bless Me

Aksi Kreasi #2

It's hot from the oven! Wew, I'm totally a gigs geeks now. No jokes. But I'm not attending every gigs that had been held in jogja though. Well well this is Bulaksumur present. Aksi Kreasi #2 in Purnabudaya (again). The HTM is very cheap, only cost 7k that's the reason why I attending this event. The performances that night is Display, Pieter Lennon (Am I right?), Frau, Jasmine, and Jenny. And that's the reason number 2.

I came earlier well not practically earlier. the show is running out late btw, and that's make me came earlier. Whatever, and guess what because of that I can see Pieter Lenon (Which I'm not so sure this is his correct name) check sound. Let me describe him. He is old (50 something, or maybe 60), wearing pink shirt, playing guitar and harmonica at the same time, he not singging just playing the instrument, and he has the beatles haircut or which is alda changcut haircut too. Reflect from his name he really adopted the beatles style, and singing their song too. Honestly I hope if he can also sang that night and not was only playing instrument. But he not that bad.

What should I write about Display? They're just like a particular band, pardon me. Pop rock, love song, and that kind of stuff. I know they're disappointed with the crowd. But, again what should I say?

Finally Frau, as you all know this is my 2 rd times to watch her show. Oh my dear lord, why you create someone like her? very stunning. Everything just feels so perfect when she start to playing her piano. By the time, and after I looking back to my back (sounds weird) there's already a lot of people fulfill the venue. They knew her song, and start singing along with her, and there's a big applause for her. She deserve it by the way. What I would say is the crowd is more attractive that night. Even I feels like the sound is worse than the stage she had before.

First, I don't know that I've already watch their show before. Second, when they first come up to the stage everybody is start to scream to them like they're the cutest things that night. Third, they're who yelled with the power of joy is the organizers of the event. Well then, jasmine plays like 5-6 songs in a row. They play other's people song like Jamie Cullum (people scream), Shandy Sandoro (more people scream, and more lauder), Cold Play, and the others song I can't recognize. They're jazz, very jazz, that's why people love them.

Maybe this is the reason number two why I came that night. Because is JENNY. Their genre is rock 60's & 70's. They have a very attractive lead singer who always go to the left right ups and down (kidding). He (the vocalist) brought a little black book that looks likes a bible and something that likes black rosary but I know that is not a rosary at all. Well it's kindda hard to capture them, as ya all know I'm still an amateur. And this fact is make me upset at that night. But thanks my lord I can stabilize my hand. They even can make people who was sitting to be standing to watch their performance. Their song is way to perfect to be heard, I know it's sounds so lebay. But what so ever. See ya in the next gigs.

Kembalikan sepatu itu

Cinderella.. Cinderella...

Meninggalkan sebelah sepatunya di tangga istana.

Meninggalkan, berarti tidak sengaja tertinggal.

Pangeran datang menggambilnya.

Menggunakan sepatu itu untuk menemukan cintanya. Cinderella.

Cinderella... Cinderella...

Ketika hendak mengenakan sepatunya, Ia tidak dapat menemukannya.

Sepatu itu hilang.

Kali ini tidak tertinggal, tetapi hilang.

Hilang, tidak berada pada tempat dimana sepatu itu seharusnya berada.

Pangeran kaukah itu?

Bukan pangeran yang mengambilnya.

Ia tidak membutuhkan sepasang sepatu.

Hanya perlu sebelah bukan sepasang.

Lalu siapa?

Entah siapa yang pasti Ia tidak bertanggung jawab.

Tujuannya tak ada yang tau.

Cinderella... Cinderella...

Ia kehilangan sepasang sepatunya.

Berharap cemas ketika Ia memeriksanya lagi sepatu itu masih ada ditempatnya.

Berharap Ia hanya kurang teliti mencari.

Cinderella... Cinderella...

Masihkah kau pantas dipanggil Cinderella?

Kau bukan lagi pemilik sepatu kaca itu.

Dia yang memilikinya lah yang bernama itu sekarang.

Gadis tanpa nama itu, tertenduk.

Mengutuk.

Dia bukan lagi Cinderella.

Seseorang telah mengaburkan identitasnya.

Cinderella... oh Cinderella...

Andai aku bisa membantumu.

UGM BNI JAZZ

There is Audy, Dewi Sandra, RAN, Tompi and Idang Rasjidi

I'm not a big fans of jazz, I just came to see Tompi. And why there's only RAN who dominated the photo? HA, because I somehow got attracted by Rayi from RAN. Well, that's may will explain the reason why. I really enjoyed the night. Good music, good people and good fashion. Everything doing well for me. Very entertaining. I don't know if the ticket is sold out or not, because when I see on the festival side there are an empty seat. Well, that's not kindda matter. The only matter is when you're in VVIP and you only get a mineral water. Pardon me, but I think I deserve some snack. Thank you.

Creature who live on the place called earth

D is mysterious. I don't know D personally, but somehow I feels like I know D for a long time. Someone who think different about something, have faith, and mostly D have the beautiful heart I've ever know. But D is still a human, who make mistakes and bad things. But now D somehow try to do what people say as good thing, D try to walk in the different path as D's friend and people around D's walk on. D's walk on that path alone, but D doesn't feel alone. I don't know why. Again, I don't know D's well.

D have a dream. A simple dream. Sometimes in the night before I go to sleep I pray for D. I say to god to make D's dream come true. D want to be an ordinary kids. Going to collage and hanging outs with collage mates, being stressed by an assignments. Just a simple thing like that, which mostly kids hate D want's to feel it. To be ordinary. That's D. Someone who somehow didn't go to collage, but god bless D, D will go to collage this year. I'm happy for D.

Someday I hope, I can meet D in person. If I can talk to D it will be great, I have so many question to D to answer. I want to make sure everything i thought about D before. Which is true and which is false. A lot of things I want to know about D. If I don't have a chance to talk to D, maybe I'll just need to see D and make sure that D is exist.

Who is D?

D is a human. God creature who live in a place we live.

A place called earth.

D is you. And you is D.

Rainforce Atmaja

Individual Life

Free event, and very entertaining. I don't know the reason why this event been held. All I know it's free, and I should to come. There is 5-6 performance that night. Which mostly I don't know the name is. I came late, and the reason I came is just to see Frau playing live, she is talented singer who also playing piano. And after seeing her performance I know that she is truly amazing. There is always a bonus in every gigs I attend. There is Individual life. Like a mini orchestra band with an amazing music arrangement. Again it's make me feel W O W!

I didn't watch the rest of the show, because I don't feel like I want to. But there is a band, rock ballad band maybe I'm not so sure. Which is the guitarist is my senior in my collage and it is a surprise too because he have a very talented band. What makes this (sorry I forgot their band name) band special is the vocalist have a really good accent in english. And he is crying when he singing a song (again I forgot the name). Can you believe it? I never see someone crying while they're sing. So pardon me, if this become a thing to me. See ya in the another gigs!

Frau

My senior band (forgot the name)

Mungkin aku hanya berpikir

Selasa, tidak pernah seindah ini.

Burung-burung berkicau ucapkan selamat menempuh hari.

Dia bilang terimakasih, dan senyuman mengembang.

Senyuman itu tidak pernah nampak pada selasa.

Ada apa dengan selasa kali ini?

Mengapa begitu bahagia?

Berjalan memutar.

Merasakan hawa pagi yang menyejukan.

Selasa yang cantik.

Matahari dan pohon membentuk siluet yang menenangkan.

Dia bersyukur masih dapat menikmati pagi.

Selasa.

Menghabiskan waktu dengan berkeliling.

Tubuhnya bagaikan tidak menapaki bumi.

Dia sedang bahagia.

Matahari menyengat dia jawab dengan senyuman.

Ibu mengeluarkan air mata, dia bilang menangis itu baik untuk kesehatan.

Benar-benar sedang bahagia.

Tak diijinkannya orang-orang itu merusak harinya.

Siapapun tidak akan bisa merusaknya.

Karena dia bahagia.

Kenapa begitu senang?

Apa yang membuatnya tersenyum?

"Aku hanya bahagia, tidak perlu alasan. Ini sudah lebih dari cukup."

Ketika pintu itu dibuka dan dunia pun terlihat.

Selasa tidaklah seburuk itu.

myself - when you get so happy

Google : 40th years of Sesame Street

Aren't they cute?
Sesame Street reminds me of my SHS year.
Big bird, Cookie Monster, Count von Count, Elmo, Abby Cadabby, Ernie & Bert

Equivocality

Malam ini aku benar-benar merasa muak dengan semua ini. Tiba-tiba saja aku merasa muak! Entah mengapa, dan hal yang ada disekelilingi memicunya untuk semakin muak semuak-muaknya manusia. Kamar ini terlalu berantakan, sampah dimana-mana, barang-barang tidak pada tempatnya menjadi satu dengan sampah dan lama-lama terlihat seperti sampah. Aku sedang merasa tidak nyaman melakukan sesuatu bahasa kerennya tidak "mood". Pakaian kotor menumpuk, melihatnya membuat emosiku semakin tersulut. Ingin rasanya aku bakar! Agar tidak menganggu penglihatanku.
Aku bosan, aku lelah, aku m u a k! Air keluar dari mataku. Kepala seperti tertusuk-tusuk rasanya. Semua bersatu padu melawanku. Membuatku tidak nyaman. Otak yang dari dulu tidak pernah menunjukkan kinerja terbaiknya sekarang juga ikut tidak mau berfikir jernih, membuatku semakin kalut dan semakin ingin marah-marah. Selalu ada masalah, laptop mulai cari perkara, mobil bannya kempes, ac-rusak, keran bocor (untuk ke-sekian kalinya), kulkas bangsat, lampu mati, flash bego, harddisk tolol, baju hilang, hidupku, semua berebut saling sikut ingin disebut. Seperti sinetron saja hidup ini lama-lama, banyak yang perlu dikeluhkan padahal katanya mengeluh itu dosa. Berarti aku orang yang paling berdosa kalau begitu.
Bangsat memang, karena air dari mata ini tidak mau berhenti mengalir. Ya aku menangis. Puas? Silakan tertawa, selagi aku tidak bisa mendengarnya. Gara-gara menangis kepala jadi tambah sakit, dan masalah juga tidak selesai. Taulah aku menangis tidak menyelesaikan apa-apa hanya mengurangi 1% rasa muak dan perasaan kecewa. Tapi air ini tak juga mau berhenti, sekarang pun aku menangis. Aku ingin ibuku! Apa aku sudah bilang kalau Laptopku cari perkara? a.k.a rusak! Ya rusak (lagi), ini laptop kedua yang aku pakai dan kemudian rusak. Kali ini dalam kurun waktu kurang dari setahun. Hebat sekali diri yang hina dina ini bisa merusakkan barang jutaan rupiah dengan gampangnya.
Ingin rasanya aku teriak sekeras-kerasnya, marah semarah-marahnya, membanting semua barang-barang yang menghalangi pandanganku. Aku kesal! Tolong seseorang panggil ibuku, untuk membuatku tenang. Hari ini baru terasa kalau bulan Juni itu lama, baru aku merasakan apa yang orang-orang rasakan. Sempat terbesit pikiran untuk pulang, tapi aku tidak selemah itu. Aku yakin aku bisa lewati ini, aku hanya perlu pelampiasan. Jika aku pulang berarti aku lari dari masalah, dan tentunya aku tidak bisa selamanya lari dari masalah aku HARUS menghadapinya.
Disini terlalu gelap. Selalu gelap. Kali ini mataku tidak mau menyesuaikan dengan kegelapan yang ada. Apa yang harus aku lakukan jika aku tidak dapat melihat? Haruskah aku ambil resiko dengan menebak-nebak? Betapa aku benci ketidakpastian. Benci sebenci-bencinya manusia bisa membenci!

(ditulis pada heath minggu 16 Mei 2010 3:15pm dengan keadaan diri yang sangat kacau, yang bahkan dengan minum pun tidak akan membuatnya lebih baik)

Pre event 6th Anniversary Starcross

This small gigs is held on Thursday 13 May 2010, at Hall Gedung Pusat Kebudayaan Koesnadi Hardjosoemantri (ex-Purnabudaya) UGM Yogyakarta.

I'm not feel so comfortable with the stage, and the crowds. Especially with the crowds, there are people, too many people with a expensive DSLR but without having a etiquette. I don't know if you're a photographer or not but as long as you doing a photography please knowing that photography have an etiquette to be followed. It's a crime if you don't! Singkat kata, If you want a HOT SPOT to take a best picture come earlier. Don't you dare come late and then nyerobot-nyerobot ngalang-ngalangin. FUCK!! Your camera IT'S NOT YOUR FREE PASS TO GET INTO THE IN FRONT OF OF THE STAGE! note that! Bye!

Starcross collaboration with Jangan Marah Records present:

Yakuyaya

New band, with a well known members. Yes you right they are Duta and Adam from Sheila on 7 on the stage and yakuyaya is their new project indie band. It was become a surprise to me that can see them playing live. They didn't have an album, not yet. They just making song, and this is their first time to perform in a crowd like this (based on what they said). Seeing yakuyaya it's more like a bonus for me.

The Kucrut

Another surprise, since I'm not too concern about indie local band from Indonesia The Kucrut become something to me. Their genre is New Wave same like my favorite indie local band from Bali TolbandTol. But their vocalist voice is drowning into the sound of the music, and make me can't hear clearly what he say.

Zeke Kheseli

Here they are, people please stand up and give it up for Zeke Kheseli. The first time the band member show up to the stage I'm speechless. No, I'm not lying. What I should call them? Theatrical band? Because they kindda like singing and telling story with acting at the same time. First, they came up with 3 member wearing a mask. I can hear clearly the voice of their vocalist (something wrong with the sound system), but I'm in love with their melody, maybe their song can we called the disharmony melody. So abstract but still lovely, and they use the unsual instrument which I don't know what the name is. They are superb! Hope I can see their live performance again next time.

Bangku Taman

and finally Efek Rumah Kaca (ERK)

I come for them, because they're inspiring, and unusual song. Too bad I can't sing along with them that night because I'm not well remembered the lyrics but one thing I know that their performance is marvelous! Hearing ERK live performance makes my bulu roma merinding. Can't wait to see them playing live agaiin.